I have been seeing Narine twice weekly, and often three times a week, for over a year for Armenian lessons. I have been to her home a few times, she has been to mine, and we have dined, walked, and talked all over Gyumri. About three weeks previous to last Saturday, she told me that she was getting married. I did not even know that she had a boyfriend. At my last tutoring session on Friday afternoon, the day before her wedding, I told her that I wanted to talk about her wedding. How did she meet him? Her mother and his mother work together. How long had she known him? She first saw him two years ago. How long had they been dating? A few weeks. How does her mother feel about it? VERY happy. What does he do? It doesn’t matter. What kind of work does he do? He’s a programmer. He comes from a very good family. Where will you live? With his family (as is Armenian tradition.) His mother is a very good mother-in-law. What will your mother do all alone? When we move to Yerevan, she will live with us. Will you continue to work? Till the end of the school year. (Often Armenian men do not want their wives to work.) How old is he? 33. (Narine is 30.) What do Armenians give for wedding gifts? Gold. Gold? (As I’m thinking about what to give her.) The husband’s family always gives the bride gold. Bars of gold? Gold jewelry. But I never see women wearing gold jewelry? They wear it for special occasions. Are you going to wear a white wedding dress? Of course.
I was astounded by this whole conversation. Narine is an only child and her father died when she was very young. Her mother works as a cook at a small restaurant. Her home is very modest, really just a shack. Earlier in the year she had told me that she would like to marry an American. Did I know of any? Then her best friend announced her engagement. I was feeling Narine’s desperation. She is at an age where marriage becomes highly unlikely in Armenia. (It is not uncommon for a man to marry someone ten years younger.) So his mother and her mother “arranged” this marriage in a few short weeks. I felt no excitement in our discussions. In Armenia the bride is never supposed to smile at her wedding (though Narine did somewhat) because she is sad to be leaving her family. I wondered if her lack of enthusiasm was a reflection of a cultural attitude towards marriage. I felt as if Narine was almost apologizing for this decision and I wondered if it was because he was not the kind of man she thought that she would marry.
I met the bridegroom on the wedding day for the first time. He was very nice, warm, cuddly, and speaks good English. (Narine does not speak English.) My gut feel is that they will be happy because their mothers made a good match and they both come from “good” families. It is tradition in Armenia that newly married couples spend their first night at the groom’s family home. In the morning, if there is blood on the sheets, his family sends a basket of red apples to her family home in celebration. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to ask the obvious question.
There are a few Armenian customs that I do not like: The Armenian Apostolic Church is the national church. 97% of Armenians identify with this church. So all weddings are performed in the national churches. "Justice of the Peace" weddings are not an option. The mother of the bride does not attend the wedding ceremony. I am told that it is "just custom." (But it is a disturbing custom for me.) Between the bride's family home and the church, the wedding party takes a long drive while blowing their car horns all the way. It is unbelievably annoying, and I was part of this loud procession. It is extremely unusual in Armenia for anyone to live alone. Narine and her husband will be living with his parents, the grand-mother, his brother and two grandchildren in a two bedroom apartment. The bride is always expected to be a virgin while the bridegroom is expected to be experienced. Families go deeply into debt for weddings. The reception is nearly always at an expensive restaurant. Honeymoons are nearly unheard of.
Members of the wedding party leaving Narine's modest home, in the background.
On the way to the wedding. My first look at the groom.
Before leaving for the church. Note dancers in foreground, woman holding up bread, fruit on stick, flower petals in baskets, and limousine in background. 
Wedding picture taken in Gyumri's central square.
Coming out of the church after the ceremony.
Leaving the church. Narine and her husband had just released two white doves, and the crowd threw flower petals and chocolates.
Members of the wedding party leaving Narine's modest home, in the background.
On the way to the wedding. My first look at the groom.
Before leaving for the church. Note dancers in foreground, woman holding up bread, fruit on stick, flower petals in baskets, and limousine in background. 
Wedding picture taken in Gyumri's central square.
Coming out of the church after the ceremony.
Leaving the church. Narine and her husband had just released two white doves, and the crowd threw flower petals and chocolates.
